A Fresh Start
by nighners
Summary: Set after 14x10. AU. April is struggling after the losses that day, and one night there is an unexpected guest at her door.
1. Chapter 1

I got this idea after the episode 10 (S14) and thought to give it a go. :) Really want to give April a happy ending. It won't be a Japril story, so I understand that it might not be that welcomed.

Let me know if the story is something to work on. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

x

It was two weeks after Karen Taylor had died. Died on her watch. After the losses of that day, she had plummeted into this evil circle of drinking herself to sleep, sleeping with an intern. Having doubts about her faith in God.

She had tried to open herself up to Arizona, but she wasn't listening to her. " _This is not about you, April."_ She heard Arizona's clear voice as she had brushed off her attempt to clear her mind, talk things out. Release some of the pain she was feeling. She was going through it all in her mind, had she neglected the signs? Could there had been a chance to safe Karen Taylor? She felt that it was on her that there was a little baby girl without her mother.

She was sleeping on her bed, lying on her stomach with a empty bottle of wine on the floor. It was late and she was alone this time around as the intern had a night shift. She was glad that she was alone, ashamed of her actions in the past weeks.

She woke up to a sharp sound of the doorbell. Feeling the hangover in her head already. She glanced at the clock standing on her nightstand. Little past midnight. Who would it be? She got up, nearly falling over as she hopped over the empty wine bottle on the floor. She made her way to the door, it wasn't a long stretch to go as her two bedroom apartment wasn't that big.

As she walked towards the door, she heard a baby cry. Despite the alcohol in her blood, she was clear enough to know it wasn't Harriet crying. Harriet was with Jackson. Another reason why she felt so alone.

Perhaps it was her neighbor from next door, she thought. She had a baby four months ago. Might be in need of advice. Although she wasn't sure if she had any clever advice to give.

She opened the door and the sight in front of her was shocking. Never did she think that the one person behind her door would be Matthew. Holding his little girl in his arms, who seemed to displeased about something as she was crying.

"Matthew." She looked at him in shock as she stood there in her panties and a t-shirt.

"What.. What are you doing here?" She asked as he seemed to be thinking about something.

"I.. I didn't know who to call.." "I need help." He managed to say and she heard from the sound of his voice that he was desperate. And he must be that desperate since he had come in the middle of the night to stand on the doorstep of the very woman who had shattered his heart and mostly likely killed his wife.

"Aah.. Come in." She thought to invite him in as the baby was crying and soon her neighbors would probably make a complaint about the noise. But as she had invited him in, she remembered all the empty wine bottles standing in her kitchen, behind the door. What would he think of her now? She thought, but it couldn't be any more worse than he already had thought.

"I don't know what to do.. She cries all the time and I'm alone." He tried to explain as he stepped inside her apartment holding the baby in his arms.

"I'm sorry, if I'm disturbing you and Jackson." He added quickly and she met his gaze with a more stunned face. She remembered their conversation back at the hospital when Karen was still alive. He didn't know about her and Jackson, that the love of her life wasn't in her life anymore.

"Jackson and I.. We aren't together." She felt the wave of shame go through her as she had to admit to the man she had once loved and left to the altar, that she was alone after it all.

"Oh." He was puzzled, she could see.

But the crying baby alerted April to the fact why he had come to her.

"Can I?" She gestured to hold the baby, not entirely sure if it was welcomed, but then again he had come to seek help.

Matthew handed gently the little baby over to her arms and she quickly moved the baby to lay against her chest, the baby's stomach pressed against the baby's knees and April's chest. It seemed to calm the baby a bit. She then rocked her body as she held the little baby. Feeling tears pricking in her eyes as it felt so natural to her. To hold a baby in her arms. To be a mother. She was reminded that her life hadn't turned out like she thought it would have.

"Have you tried a different brand of formula for her?" She asked and gave a look at his way as he seemed to look a little uncomfortable standing there.

"No.. As I said, I'm all alone. I don't know what I am doing." He sat down on the couch and she saw he hadn't probably slept in a while. He'd gotten a crash course into parenthood.

"What about your mother?" She asked as she hummed a little to the baby, calming her to sleep.

"She died a year ago." He said with a heavy heart. She knew how much his mother had meant for him.

"What about Karen's parents?" She then asked, but continued the slight humming sound.

He only shook his head and her heart ached. He was all alone with an infant baby and she felt the loss of Karen even greater on her shoulders now.

A moment past and the baby was sleeping on April's chest as she was rocking her body back and forth all the while humming. It's what she had done with Harriet.

"I didn't know you're a drinker." She heard him say and she saw he had noticed her empty bottles in the kitchen.

"After that day.. I.." She started to say with a dry voice.

"I feel lost." She admitted with a sigh and met his eyes.

He moved to look at the sofa table and she saw he wasn't ready to open Karen as a subject for a discussion.

"I can place her in Harriet's room if you want to stay." She said softly, not sure what to do now. She couldn't hold the baby forever and it was the middle of the night.

He nodded and she left the room and walked into Harriet's room and placed the sleeping baby in Harriet's bed. Tucking her in, she looked at Ruby. Sleeping so peacefully for the time being. She might wake up again soon.

She returned to the living room where Matthew was and she saw he had fallen asleep on her couch. She took the blanket from the armchair and placed it over him. She turned the lights off and went to her own bedroom.

A few hours later she woke to the sound of a crying baby. It took her awhile to realize what had happened during the night. She almost thought it might have been a dream. She got up and put on her cozy pants, not wanting to be as naked as she had felt during the night.

She went into Harriet's room and got the little baby up in her arms. She had her eyes open and she was staring at April. She smiled to Ruby and walked into the living room and she heard Matthew was awake as he was probably preparing a bottle for her.

"Good morning." She heard his voice and from the sound of it, she thought he had gotten some well earned rest. She gave him a faint smile and said "Morning." She handed the baby to him and he began feeding her.

She put on her coffeemaker and went to change her clothes for work. Feeling slightly awkward at the whole situation. Her ex-fiancée was in her apartment, with his baby.

"April.. I'm sorry that I came." She heard him say as she came back to the room. She took a cup from the cabinet and poured herself coffee.

"It's okay." She met his eyes and nodded.

Before she left for work, she gave him some advice on how to handle the baby and gave a few suggestions, hoping that it would help him. He did seem to be a little lost, but he would learn quickly, she thought. She didn't want to drive him out of her apartment so she said he could leave when he was ready.

* * *

She was on her way home after another hectic day at work. Thinking about Arizona's pitch for the competition. And Arizona had told her that Karen's death wasn't on Arizona, and it wasn't on her either. She did feel a little better, but still it didn't take away her thoughts of why it had happened. Why had God taken her away?

Today she would do grocery shopping for the weekend and clean her apartment. She smiled, because she would get to go home with Harriet tomorrow. It was the highlight of her week.

The following day she woke up smiling. She had had a glass of wine the night before, but after a while she had fallen asleep. So she didn't have a raging headache today and there had been no Matthew on her door in the middle of the night. It was pleasing to know that she might have managed to help him to take care of his child, but she was a little puzzled over why he had come to her of all people?

She picked up Harriet after her shift and she could see she had grown so much in a few days. Even though she would visit her in the daycare, she still noticed the changes in her little girl. She had learned to walk a few weeks earlier and April was holding Harriet's hand as the little one was taking small steps beside her in the hallway to her apartment. She was smiling and looking at her. Before she had noticed anything else she heard a voice. She looked up from her daughter and saw Matthew sitting beside her door, Ruby in a baby carrier. She was sleeping this time around, so she couldn't help but wonder why was he there again?

She saw him get up and she took Harriet up in her arms as she opened her door.

"Why are you here?" She asked a bit annoyed and met his unsure gaze. "I should be the last person you want to see." She added and regretted her words almost immediately. He was still grieving and here she was being upset at him.

"I know." He said quietly as he glanced at sleeping Ruby in the baby carrier.

"I can't be at home. Too many memories." He explained and she sighed at his answer.

"Come in then, I'm making lasagna." She went in and he followed.

* * *

Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

x

It was a strange evening that day. She had made dinner while Harriet was playing with her toys in the living room and Matthew was trying to calm Ruby as she was crying again. They talked only about superficial things, mostly about the kids. She felt the tension in the air, the elefant in the room. The one thing they weren't discussing about. Karen.

They ate quietly and she hoped she wasn't being too happy when she was focusing on her daughter, she didn't want him to be even more sadder at the sight, but then again it was her home. She saw that he was just a shell of his usual self, well of the man she once had known. She didn't know what kind of a man he was now. Remembering back to the conversation they had at the hospital. He had said that it took him a long time before he could trust someone. So she knew she had left a mark on him the day she left him at the altar. And how did that turn out? She had ended up alone.

Thinking back at Jackson, her best friend. Somehow he appeared to be more further away from her now, definitely not her best friend anymore. She remembered him telling about his childhood, the confrontation with the police when he was a little boy. She thought she had known him, but clearly he hadn't confided to her about all the things.

She walked into the living room with a baby monitor in her hand. Harriet was tucked in for the night. She saw Matthew cleaning the dishes and Ruby was sleeping in a temporary bed made in April's laundry basket. Safer than the couch, she had thought.

She placed the baby monitor on the sofa table and sat down on the couch. Glancing at Matthew, wondering about what he was thinking. Thinking back at what Karen had said to her, she hadn't wanted to hear her side of the story. It made her think what had Matthew told Karen about her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know after all. She knew that she had pretty much destroyed him that day.

She saw he was done in the kitchen. It was almost half nine in the evening. She was wondering whether he would leave now. Would he go home or was he staying the night again?

She glanced at him and there was an awkward silence in the room. She wasn't sure what to say to him and he seemed to be uneasy about the sudden silence as well.

"Don't you have any friends that can help you?" She asked, having thought about it a while now. Didn't he have anyone else?

Getting a small grunt sound out of him before he answered "Everyone is being very nice, coming over with food and saying comforting things but.." "I feel their pity, I see it in their eyes." He said with a touch of sadness in his voice.

"They are just trying to help. Perhaps they don't know what is the right way." She explained.

"You know.. I never pictured my life to be like this." He said with a little more anger in his voice.

" _Neither did I."_ She thought. Restricting herself from saying that her life wasn't like she had dreamed either. But this wasn't about her now, this was about Matthew.

"Matthew.. You need to stay strong, for Ruby." She reminded him about his daughter.

"Karen wouldn't have wanted.." She tried to say but he interrupted her.

"Don't say her name!" He raised his voice giving her a scowl of a look before he stormed out from her apartment. What just happened? She was sitting there completely surprised about how he had left her apartment, alone. Without Ruby. Here she was with a 1 year old sleeping and a two week old baby who now had woken up by the noise caused by her father.

She picked up Ruby and calmed her down. Quickly smelling that she needed a diaper change. Was this happening for real? She was taking care of a child that wasn't even hers. She sighed as she took the care bag for Ruby and placed a cloth on the couch before placing Ruby on it.

While she was changing her diaper she thought that he probably needed a moment alone. To gather his thoughts. She remembered how overwhelming everything was in the beginning. Sleepless nights, all the crying and clearly Ruby wasn't an easy baby. She was crying a lot, probably due to the fact that babies digestive system was still very immature after birth. At least she had Jackson when Harriet was little. Matthew was all alone, reminding her yet again of the loss of Karen.

After she had changed a dry diaper for Ruby, she fed her again and calmed her down after the feeding. It took a while as she was experiencing some air in her stomach. She was massaging her little belly in the hopes that it would help. So finally after 2 hours Ruby was sleeping in the temporary bed made in the laundry basket. And Matthew was still gone.

She was sleeping on the couch when she woke up to the sound of the door opening. She hadn't locked the door, knowing that Matthew would probably come back when he had cooled down. She glanced quickly at Ruby who was still asleep and met Matthew's gaze as he closed the door and came to sit beside her on the couch.

"You okay?" She asked. "Ah.. Never mind, that was a stupid question.." She quickly added, realizing that of course not he wasn't okay.

"I'm sorry." He said like a whisper.

"For what?" She was puzzled. It was she who should be sorry. She hadn't manage to save his wife.

"For coming here." He said and stared the emptiness in front of him.

"I just can't be there." "She's everywhere. Her touch is all over the house and I just can't be there." He explained with anxiety. She saw that he felt somewhat trapped in this situation.

"And it's a big house. I'm all alone." He gave a quick look at her.

"You're not alone." She shook her head a little.

"You know what I mean." "The house is a constant reminder of the life we were hoping for. That we.. I.. will never have." She heard his voice break and the tears came in his eyes.

"You want to remember her. For Ruby." She hesitated for a second, but she reached to touch his forearm slowly with her hand. Wanting him to feel a little comfort in the light touch. But she was afraid how he would react, to her surprise he didn't push her hand away.

He nodded and hold his face with his other hand. After a moment of silence she asked the question that's been on her mind from the first time she saw him behind her door.

"But why me? Why did you come here?" She took away her hand, unsure about his reaction to her question.

"You were there. You know what happened." He then said as he focused his eyes on his hands.

"I.." She tried to come up with something to reply, but her mind was empty.

"Arizona told me that there was nothing anyone could have done differently. That it wasn't her or your fault." He said calmly and met her gaze. She looked stunned at his comment and felt that she might cry too. Remembering that day all too well. All the losses that day.

"It wasn't just her that I lost that day." She said quietly, feeling the tears run down on her cheeks.

"But I suppose it's her death that I carry the most on my shoulders." She met his eyes.

"I'm sorry Matthew. I truly am." She said with desperation.

He swallowed hard and avoided her gaze.

"I did blame you at first. I think it was easier because of what happened before." He told her. She felt a sting of pain inside of her. What had she done to him? He hadn't deserved any of it.

"But mostly I'm angry at Him." He said and his voice was tight again.

"You're angry at God." She stated. "Well join the club." She added.

* * *

Thank you so much for the reviews! :) I'm glad that you're liking the story!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

x

It was early morning hours and she was lying in her own bed, she heard Ruby cry a moment earlier, but from the sound of it Matthew was taking care of her. It had been a long night and she hadn't gotten that much sleep. But being a surgeon, she was used to sleeping just for a few hours.

Harriet was still asleep as she could see through the baby monitor. She had planned to go to the park with Harriet after breakfast, but she wasn't sure what to do with Matthew. Would he join her and Harriet with Ruby or was he going home? Even though he had said he couldn't be there, alone in the big house as he described it.

Then she wondered what would Jackson think of all this? Matthew staying here while she had Harriet? Would it be a problem? She thought. But he didn't have to know about this, if it was just a few nights.

She got up and walked to the kitchen, where Matthew was surprisingly making pancakes, Ruby was lying quietly in her temporary bed.

"What are you doing?" She asked even though she could see it with her own eyes.

"It's a 'Sorry for disturbing' breakfast." He said softly. So he had thought that coming and staying here was weird.

"I'll go to a hotel today.. or something." He added as he was making the pancakes.

A hotel? With the baby? The thought of him being at a hotel was too painful to bear. She couldn't let him do that.

"If you want to stay here.." She said hesitating a little in her words. Was it the best solution?

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"It's fine. Really, it is. I think I owe that much to you." She said giving him a faint smile. Perhaps now she should mention something to Jackson.

After breakfast they had indeed gone to the park together. She was playing with Harriet in the playground and he was strolling around in the park with Ruby as she slept in her pram. On their way back to her apartment, she had Harriet in her own pram and it felt strange to her, they had once been in love, had a plan to be together and here they were, walking side by side with their kids like almost a family. She suddenly felt frightened of the future. Would she ever find a man that would want to share his life with her?

They had gotten back to her apartment, Harriet was sleeping her nap for the day and she came to the kitchen and took a cup from the cabinet and poured some fresh coffee in her cup.

"You're a good mom." She heard him say as he was sitting in the couch feeding Ruby.

"Well, that's what I'm good at. That and being a surgeon." She answered little blushed by the sudden appraisal.

She wanted to add " _But failed as a wife"_ but it wasn't something she thought Matthew should think about right now.

"And you're going to be a great dad." She said softly and took a sip of her coffee as she stood leaning against the kitchen counter.

"I hope so." He said and stared down Ruby who was drinking her bottle.

"Give it time." She walked slowly to sit on the couch.

"You've just had your life turned upside down. You need time." She said and drank a little more of her coffee.

"God doesn't give us more than we can handle." He said with a low voice.

She thought about the line. She had said it herself that very day and heard it from Karen's lips. Would she be able to handle the death of Karen? To let go of the guilt she was carrying on her shoulders? Would he be able to handle her death? That she was gone? At the moment it didn't seem like he could. He wasn't at their home. He had said he couldn't be there. So at the moment he wasn't able to handle everything God was giving him.

"She said that to me." She placed her cup on the table and felt the aching inside of her again. It was mid day and she could really use a drink, but she could fight through the pain, she was trying. It wouldn't help her in the long run if she would drown her sorrows in a bottle.

After Ruby was fed, she fell asleep on Matthew's chest. They were both sleeping on the couch as he was lying on his back. She went to her bedroom to fold laundry, make use of the time as Harriet would be sleeping just a little while longer.

But she couldn't help but think where her life had gotten her. She had her job, she loved her job. She had Harriet, she was the center of her world. But she didn't have her every day, even if she saw her for a moment in the daycare at the hospital, she was still in agony when she wasn't going home with her. And what it came to her pathetic love life.. She was sleeping with an intern. And just a while back she was talking with Jackson about what happened in Montana and since their encounter was just a hookup, she felt it was against her beliefs and he understood it, but here she was, having casual sex with an intern. Feeling like a hypocrite. How far had she gone from the young woman she once was?

* * *

She couldn't sleep. The rain was pouring down and she heard the wind whip heavy raindrops against her bedroom window. She glanced at the baby monitor, Harriet was sleeping. She got up and quietly walked to the entrance to the living room. She saw that he wasn't sleeping either. Lying there on the couch, staring at his wedding ring. Looking utterly devastated. A look and a feeling she knew all too well. Not because of the losses that day, but because of the loss of her son, Samuel.

She went to the kitchen and took herself a glass of water, alerting him to the fact that she was awake. She heard him sit up on the couch and she turned around, holding the glass with her both hands. Wondering if she should say something, if it would help him that she would share her pain with him.

"I had a son." She whispered and stared at the glass in her hands.

"Had?" She heard his voice.

"Back at the hospital when you mentioned that I was a mother to a three year old.." She took a sip of the water and met his eyes, noticing that he was puzzled by the revelation.

"I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy." She said hearing her voice break and feeling tears wet her eyes.

"You don't have to tell me." He said and got up and walked towards her.

"I know how you're feeling." She looked at him and he nodded.

It felt like a waterfall, suddenly she was filling him in on the whole story. Sharing her pain and reliving the moments less than three years ago. Feeling the pain of the memory twist her heart like it was crushing her. And she saw that he felt the same. He understood her pain.

And she didn't stop there, she confided to him about her marriage to Jackson, what had happened after Samuel's death and how they had ended up in the situation they were in now. Somehow she felt that he would understand, he had faith in God. Or at least he had once, she wasn't sure where he was now, but she didn't think he would desert his faith. That's where he and Jackson were different, she could rely on the fact that he knew how it was for her, because of their beliefs and faith in God.

As she was clearing her conscience, she had to admit what had become of her after that dreadful day. She just wasn't sure whether he would understand that. A child suffering of a unbearable disease was one thing, aftermath of that was understandable, but the aftermath after a somewhat regular day at work.. was another thing. She had lost patients before, during the same shift, during the same day, during the same week. But somehow the story of the boy being shot by the police, Jackson's revelation about his childhood, a known surgeon who got run over by a drunken driver, dying later the day and Karen's unexpected death had made an impact on her.

"I don't know why I told you all this.." She shook her head a little, but if anything had come out of her talking, was that she felt a little lighter. As if the large stone pressing down on her chest was lifted, she didn't feel like she was choking anymore.

"I'm glad that you did." He said as he sat on one of the bar chairs across from her.

"It helped to distract my mind for a moment." He reached for her hand which startled her a bit, but she didn't want to pull her hand away so she met his hand and felt him give her a gentle squeeze. Remembering how it had felt to feel his touch once.

"And I somehow imagined that you had this happy life after the day of our wedding.. Well almost wedding. But you didn't get your happy ending either." He added and she heard from the sound of his voice that he truly meant what he said. Despite of everything he had hoped she would have been happy. Even though his hopes for the future had been crushed.

"Look at us." She said in disbelief. Never in a million years did she think that they would be in the same room talking, yet alone that he would be crashing on her couch, letting her touch the one thing that was left of his beloved wife, his daughter Ruby.

She heard him chuckle a little and met his eyes. There they were both tearing up, sharing their pain.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

x

She was holding Ruby and trying to help her burp after her feeding. As she walked back and forth in the living room and was telling Ruby about her day, she heard the door open and the one person she hadn't expect to see coming inside was Jackson.

"Jackson.." "Why are you here? Is it Harriet?" She panicked a little, wondering why had he come to her apartment. Had something happened? She had forgotten that he had a spare key in case there were things Harriet needed and it was at her place.

"You forgot to pack her bunny.." Jackson said with a strange voice and then she realized that he was probably wondering who's baby she was holding in her arms as she hadn't mentioned to him about Matthew and Ruby yet. Guess it was too late for that.

"Where's Harriet?" She wondered as he had come up without her.

"In the car with my mom. We're having dinner at her place." Jackson said as he strangely looked around since there was baby things all over her living room.

"What's going on here?" Jackson asked and she would have to tell him.

She felt like a fish gasping for air on dry land. Her mouth was opening, but no words came out as she tried to think of the best way to tell him about her recent guests.

"This is.. ahm.." "This is Matthew's daughter." She managed to finally say without her voice stuttering.

"Matthew?" Jackson was surprised and in the moment Matthew walked in holding grocery bags.

This was awkward to say the least. Her ex-husband and ex-fiancée in the same room and she was afraid that they would start to argue with each other.

"And he's staying here?" Jackson gave a glance towards Matthew as he walked to the kitchen with the bags. She felt like she was walking on eggshells. She had a look towards Matthew, he seemed to be keeping his cool.

"Yes. He and Ruby have been staying here." She explained although sensing that Jackson wasn't entirely happy about the situation.

Ruby made small sounds which made her aware that she was still holding her and as she tended to the baby, she noticed Jackson go to Harriet's room and get the bunny he had come for.

He was walking towards the door as she said to him "Jackson, this is only temporary." He nodded and left the apartment. Although she didn't really feel like she had to give him a reason. This was her apartment, her life. And Matthew hadn't done anything wrong.

"That went well." She heard his voice and saw him come towards her to take Ruby.

"Well better than I thought." She handed Ruby to Matthew.

"I'm sorry if us being here causes problems." He then said.

"Don't worry about it." She smiled and looked at Ruby in his arms.

The next day at work, she walked into the lounge of the attending doctors and was immediately met with a silence when she entered the room. She stopped for a bit, but continued on towards the coffeemaker to take a cup of coffee. So the word had spread already, she thought. Jackson probably told Alex as he was close friends with him and the rest was history. If something spread like a wildfire in the hospital, it was gossip. She took her cup of coffee and turned around to face her friends in the room. Thinking it was just better to say what she wanted to say and then focus on her work.

"What you've heard is correct. Matthew is staying at my place." She said as she met Meredith's, Amelia's, Owen's and Maggie's wondering looks. Alex wasn't really meeting her eyes so she knew he had known about it. Arizona was sitting by the window and she didn't look pleased. Everyone was mostly still quiet. She sighed, this was a tough crowd.

"What was I suppose to do? The man showed up at my door in the middle of the night with a crying baby!" She raised her voice trying to reason with her friends. Still no comments on the subject.

She shrugged her shoulders and left the room. Hearing that someone came after her. "April." She heard Arizona's tight voice. As she turned around she met Arizona's eyes, looking at her and not blinking. Fearing what she might say. She felt like she was slowly shrinking down to a size of a mouse under Arizona's look.

"He's been through enough already, I hope you know what you're doing." She heard her voice which was a little softer this time around, she nodded to her and she left her standing there alone. Well at least she wasn't entirely angry at her. She heard another set of footsteps and saw Owen standing there.

"For what it's worth, I think what you're doing is great." He gave her a faint smile and patted her shoulder as he continued on his way. Owen was on her side, that was a relief, she thought.

There was talking behind her back during that day, but it wasn't anything she wasn't used to. It's not the first time she has been the topic for gossip.

She met Jackson later the day when he came to pick up Harriet from daycare, she had come up to spent little time with her before she went home.

"I should apologize." She heard Jackson say.

"He came for me for help, I couldn't say no." She said as she met his gaze, she saw from his face that he understood it in a way.

She picked Harriet in her arms, kissed her forehead and gave her a warm hug before she handed her to Jackson.

"Apology accepted." She whispered and Jackson nodded to her. She watched as they left the daycare. He was smiling and talking to their daughter. She felt the familiar agony twist her guts again, she was going home without Harriet. When would get it get easier, she thought.

* * *

She was standing just outside the NICU at the hospital. Leaning against the counter and glancing towards Arizona and Matthew. Ruby was having her checkup today and she was hovering. She wanted to know what was going on, but she couldn't be in the room. He had been at her apartment for four more weeks and it was dangerous. She has been tending to Ruby the past few weeks, helping him survive through the challenging day to day life of a stay at home parent. It did seem that Ruby was calming down a bit, she wasn't crying as much anymore. Somehow she had gotten herself in the middle of a domestic life with a man she had left to the altar. A man she wasn't together with. But at least something good had come out of it, she wasn't sleeping with the intern anymore. And she wasn't drinking her sorrows away every night. Having him there had helped her more than she really knew. And she hoped it had helped him too, he had after all reached out to her in his despair.

"Kepner! What are you doing here?" She heard Alex Karev's sharp voice behind her.

"Nothing, I was just on my way to the ER." She turned around and walked past him, glancing quickly towards Arizona and Matthew again.

She knew it. She was in trouble. She was starting to care for the baby. He wouldn't be around forever and she has been thinking about when will he leave? She had opened her home for him when he had needed it, but for the last four weeks he has been at his house just to get some clothes and check the mail. Perhaps she should suggest to put the house up for a sale. But could she do that? How would he take it? Selling the house that meant so much for him, it was a home he had build together with Karen, but then again he wasn't living there. And would he take her proposition the wrong way? That she wanted him out of her apartment? Although that was exactly what she wanted. Before she was too attached to Ruby. Too used to coming home to someone. Before she might fall for him again and that was the last thing he needed.

She was psyching herself up the entire car ride over to her apartment. _You can do this, Kepner. Just stay strong._ She was standing in front of her door and she took in a deep breath and entered to her apartment. She walked in and looked around. The entire living room was filled with things for the baby. Baby bouncer on the floor, where Ruby was at the moment. Baby clothes hanging here and there. A small baby crib for Ruby beside the couch and a bag of his clothes beside the wall and the obvious signs that someone was crashing on her couch. She should have been upset about the mess, but instead the only thought in her mind was how it had gone with Arizona.

But before she could ask anything Matthew came from the kitchen towards her with a large wooden spoon with some meat sauce on it.

"Here, taste this." He gestured and she took a small taste of the sauce. Oh god. His signature meat sauce, she thought. It was so delicious.

"It's good." She said. But she remembered her agenda for the evening. She couldn't be distracted with meat sauces of any kind right now.

"Matthew.. I.." She started to say.

"Want us out?" He stated as he mixed the sauce in the kettle.

She was speechless. How had he known what she was going to say?

"Well. It's been nice, but you can't stay here forever." She replied, wanting him to know that it hadn't been entirely awful.

"I know." He said and met her eyes.

"I saw you today." He added and she felt like he saw right through her. She wasn't sure what would he think of her if she admitted that she cared for Ruby. Would he be mad?

"I was just concerned." She explained and glanced at Ruby. Feeling her heart jump of happiness that the little girl was here as her own was with Jackson. Usually the days when Harriet wasn't with her, she would often work late or stay the night at the hospital, but now she had to admit to herself that she has been coming home earlier the past weeks and it was because she had someone to come home to.

"I'm just asking that you allow us to be here a little while longer." "I'm selling the house, it's too big for us two anyway." He said and from the sound of his voice she heard it hadn't been an easy decision. But one he had to make.

"It's the right thing to do." She nodded and went to pick up Ruby as she was getting a bit restless.

She was holding her and talking baby talk to her when she noticed Matthew watching her. Clearing her throat, she went beside him and handed the girl to him. Excusing herself to go the bathroom.

She closed the door and went by the sink. She washed her face and looked at herself in the mirror. She already had feelings for Ruby. She has been here all the time the last weeks and it's been so nice. To have this little baby around, bringing some meaning in her life. She had tried to hold her distance, but it was inevitable.

She came back to the living room and saw him place Ruby back to the baby bouncer.

"I'm sorry." She said. Feeling that she should apologize that she had feelings towards his baby. His and Karen's baby, she thought to remind herself.

"I can't blame you, she is amazing, despite her crying." He smiled and that was the first time she had seen him really smile since that day. And she felt glad for him that he was able to find some joy after his devastating loss.

"Yeah, she is." She gave a faint smile and met his gaze. And she wasn't hiding the warmth in her voice when she said it. He knew how she felt about Ruby.


	5. Chapter 5

I changed the past a little.. Hope you like this twist! Thank you for the kind reviews!

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

x

 _When he woke up that day over a year ago, it was windy and raining. It kept raining the entire day and the traffic was chaotic, accidents happening far too easy. A small error behind the wheel and it may have cost a person's life. He was off duty, but got called in due to the heavy workload they were experiencing that day. They had just driven out of a hospital, stopped at a gas station to fuel the ambulance. He and his partner Julie had an intern with them. It was a hectic day to be an intern, but he hoped he was learning a lot. So far he was doing great. As they were done with the fueling, they got a dispatch to a location 10 minutes out._

 _A woman in labor._

 _As the address came up to the system, he recognized it. He had been there before._

 _What should have taken them 10 minutes, became more like 20 minutes. There was a tree in the middle of the road, so they had to drive a longer route and despite his best efforts to drive as fast as he could with the alarm sounding, he couldn't risk the lives of the fellow people driving in the traffic that day._

 _When they finally got to the location, he knew he had definitely been at the house once before, with April. Putting his own thoughts beside as they rushed into the house with their gear._

 _It was the day that changed him._

 _Because when he stood in the opening to the kitchen all he saw was blood. Lots of blood as the person with the woman was trying to pack her incision with cloths, dish towels._

 _He was in shock as he saw the woman lying helplessly on the kitchen table, lifeless. He moved quickly to intubate her. The intern they had with them had done an intubation before, but this was a job he wanted to do himself. He listened as the man with the woman explained everything that had happened. Ben Warren, he remembered him. He had been at their wedding. But he had to focus through his own emotions stirring inside of him as he successfully intubated her, and his crew prepared her for the journey to the hospital. It had been a while since he had been at the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital._

 _He was driving the ambulance, hoping they would make it in time to the hospital. It was all blurry to him, how he had gotten the ambulance from Meredith's place to the hospital. It was the adrenaline running in his veins. He drove to the ambulance bay and April was rushed inside by his partner and the intern. As he got out from the driver's seat, he took a couple of deep breaths and felt like his entire body was shaking down, trembling as he walked to the entrance of the hospital. Wondering what would happen to her._

 _He had been angry at her, hated her for a long time. She had broken his heart, but somehow he felt like perhaps some of it was his fault. Even though she had reassured him in front of God that she wanted to be his wife, he had accepted that her feelings towards Jackson would always be there. And despite that it hurt like hell that she ran out of their wedding with Jackson, he knew deep inside of him, that he wouldn't have wanted to have her, if her heart wasn't entirely committed to him._

 _But even in his deepest anger and rage, he didn't wish this fate for her. So he went to the chapel at the hospital and prayed she would make it through._

 _It was also the day he forgave her for what she had done._

 _They were dispatched to another emergency, and the rest of the night he was worried about her, even though they hadn't talked for a very long time. But he had after all loved her once, wanted to marry her._

 _He ended up working the entire night and as his shift was finally over the following day, he had to return to Grey Sloan Memorial. He had to know. He ran into Ben in the ER and asked him to tell him. He wasn't family, but Ben gave him the answer he had wanted to know. She was alive. He smiled. Thank you God, he thought._

 _When he finally saw her on the day when Karen gave birth to Ruby, he couldn't mention that he had been there that night. He felt it wasn't something to tell her then and there, it wasn't important for her to know. So as they talked, the last thing he had heard, was that she had been pregnant before the baby girl he knew she gave birth to. But hearing her, when she replied to his question, made him feel even more worse as he got the impression that she might have suffered a miscarriage. Feeling a sting of pain inside of him that she hadn't gotten the life she had dreamed of._

 _He had to admit, being face to face with her, and her asking about Karen, he felt a little guarded. She had been the first serious relationship he had had, by choosing to wait for marriage, there were many that had left him. She was the first woman who stayed, who had the same faith. But she broke his trust. Her leaving had been the last straw. But somehow Karen had brought him back, restored his trust, given him hope for the future._

 _And now Karen was gone. He felt lost again. He was left alone with their daughter. It was all too overwhelming, he felt like he was drifting. Not sure what was the way to go. Trying to take care of this little girl that depended on him. She was crying a lot, he didn't know what was the reason. Perhaps the answer was right in front of him, but after Karen's death his mind had been in a daze. He didn't see things clearly. And staring at the walls in the house that they had build together, was crushing him. The hopes and dreams they had had, were now gone._

 _So one night he came looking for help. Not sure why he found himself behind her door, but he had been there on the day when she almost died. She had been there to take care of Karen, but it hadn't been enough. Despite of everything, Karen had told him that day, that she felt she was taken care of. April might not have been the person she had wanted to see that day, but she was a good doctor. It might have been Karen's trust in April's capabilities that made him convinced to come behind her door._

 _After the night when she shared her pain, he was puzzled what was God's plan for them? Hearing about everything she had gone through, he had to wonder.. What was the reason for all this pain? Why give them pain and misery? She had lost a child, her marriage had failed, she had almost died, and now his wife was taken away from him and their newborn child. Why? He felt angry, angry at Him for giving them everything else except happiness._

 _But as he stayed with April, let her help him with Ruby. He wondered again what was God's plan. He saw how she looked at Ruby, she was almost treating her like her own child. She was smiling when she saw her, he saw her face lighten up every time she got home from work and as he watched her hold and talk with his daughter, he saw she was fond of Ruby. And she knew that he saw it too, and hearing her apologize for her feelings was heartbreaking. He hadn't thought about what their being here meant for her._

 _Hearing the warmth in her voice when she agreed with him that Ruby was amazing. He met her eyes and wondered if it was just Ruby she was falling for._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

x

She was leaning against the counter in the ER when she felt someone stand beside her. She glanced up from the patient chart and saw Arizona. Her face was a little more relaxed this time around.

"I spoke with Matthew." Arizona said and she listened.

"He said that he wouldn't have made it through without your help." Arizona's voice had a warmer tone this time. Perhaps she would get her friend back now. Having had a cold shoulder from her the past month.

"We've been helping each other, I'd like to think." She said holding a space between them.

"April.. I'm sorry that I haven't been fair to you the last month. But given the history between you two.." Arizona started and she interrupted her in mid sentence and said "It's okay, I know." while bumping shoulders with Arizona as they stood there side by side.

She knew why people had been surprised by it all and they were worried. Worried that she might hurt him again.

"You doing okay?" "I mean having your ex-fiancée at your door must have been pretty shocking." Arizona wondered.

"It was, but we talked things through." She said with a faint smile. Ever since the night when she had told him about Samuel and her marriage, she had felt like it was easier to be around him. Like she didn't have to hide anything. They had been getting along great and he was going to move out eventually, as he had promised the day before yesterday. But just like with Harriet, she was fearing the day Ruby wasn't going to be there when she got home. She was fond of the little girl, but she would deal with the consequences after, she thought.

"If you need to talk, I'm here." Arizona gave her a smile and left. She nodded and gave her a smile back. She was glad that Matthew had said something to Arizona during Ruby's checkup. That she wasn't the wolf in sheep's clothing.

* * *

Things were moving further with putting the house up for a sale. Matthew had talked to a realtor and since the house was in great shape, selling it wouldn't be difficult, although the basement needed some work, but it wasn't a huge renovation project. Well according to Matthew. She hadn't seen the house. Not yet.

She had agreed to help him pack things at the house, she sensed that it would be difficult time for him. To decide what he wanted to hold on to, and what he should throw or give away. But as she sat in his car on their way to the house she had heard about, she felt uneasy inside. She wasn't all that sure that she should be at the house. It was his and Karen's home, and she felt like she was trespassing. It felt like it was something holy, a place where she shouldn't place her foot in.

They parked the car in the driveway and she stepped slowly out of the car. Looking at this beautiful yard with lots of space to play with the children, _or a child. She corrected in her mind._ Then she saw the pale blue two story house with white details. She glanced at Matthew as he took Ruby out of the car in her car seat, if he was sad, he was doing a good job in hiding his emotions.

They walked towards the house and he went inside, but she hesitated as she stood on the porch. She stared at the doorway and slowly began to go towards the opening, she thought in her mind, that if the lights went off as she stepped inside, it was a clear sign that she shouldn't be there. So when she did step inside, she felt like closing her eyes as she half expected the roof to fall over her, but nothing happened. The lights didn't even flicker.

She looked around at the first floor, living room and the dining area. Kitchen at the back. There was one word to describe what she was seeing. A Home. It felt like her childhood home. And she immediately understood what Matthew meant when Karen's touch was everywhere. The whole place was filled with older furniture that were painted off white. She could see all the small details around the rooms, decorations carefully placed, the couch pillows in order. The dining room table was sett for two. Karen had probably sett it up for dinner in advance. Matthew hadn't touched the plates on the table, it was exactly like Karen had left it. When she first saw the place, she wanted to double check his decision to sell the house, but as she walked around in the rooms, she knew it was a pointless question.

She walked the stairs to the second floor, where Matthew had disappeared. She thought he probably took Ruby to the room that was meant for her. She glanced inside the nursery and saw Ruby sleeping in her own crib.

Continuing on her tour, she found herself standing on the doorway to his and Karen's bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, holding a picture frame in his hands. She saw that it was their wedding picture. Her heart ached to see him in pain. And it was even more painful as her thoughts went to think of the pain she had once caused him.

She thought it was best to hold her distance, but it looked like he needed the comfort. She walked slowly to him and sat down beside him. Not sure if he would be distraught about it.

"I'm sorry." She said, even though she had already said it before. She didn't feel there was anything else she could say other than she was sorry. There were no words of comfort. She placed her hand on his back and as she did that, he broke off from his posture even more. She then hugged him as he cried against her shoulder.

* * *

The following day it looked like he had an easier time around all their things at the house. Perhaps he had needed the moment he had yesterday, she thought. He was emptying the attic, not that there were a lot of boxes there, mostly of them contained Christmas ornaments, which would be needed as Christmas was only three months away. She looked around at the boxes he had stacked in the hallway. She felt like she wasn't helping him all that much, she didn't know what he would want to keep, so her job was mostly to look after Ruby.

As she read the labels on the boxes, she felt her heart stop when she read her own name in one of the boxes.

He was in the attic so she took a peak inside the box. There were old pictures of them, some items of meaning, like a movie ticket from a film they had seen. And then she saw a small jewelry box. She took it and opened it up. She was stunned at the sight, feeling suddenly sick in her stomach as she saw her old engagement ring. She didn't think he would keep it after all.

He came down from the attic and noticed she was looking at the box that he had long forgotten. Fearing that she would most likely freak out about the contents in that box.

"I guess I'm sentimental." He stated and saw she was startled by his presence, like she'd been caught stealing something. He saw her turn around and met her gaze and from her posture he saw she was freaking out, like he had thought.

"Why would you keep it? Keep all these things?" He heard her high pitched voice which told him she was freaking out Kepner style.

"I almost didn't." He said avoiding her gaze and if he was being entirely honest, he had thrown all those things into the box and placed it out of his sight, with clear intentions to get rid off it all. But he had forgotten about the box.

"But as much as I hated you, I couldn't destroy the memories I had of you." He explained and that part was true, which is why the box is still here. In the end it wasn't so easy to destroy all the memories inside the box as painful as they might be.

"But I caused you unspeakable pain.." She said with wonder and he swallowed hard as he was forced to think about it all.

He met her eyes finally and said "Yeah, you did. But.. You were the first woman I really loved and whom I thought I was going to marry." He said with a tender voice which seemed to make her feel even more upset than she already was.

"Matthew.." Hearing her voice as she glanced at the box and the pictures there. He didn't think she would be this upset over the items. They were just memories. But perhaps it was the fact that she felt the guilt weigh on her, that she had left him like that.

"Are you okay?" He stepped closer to her.

"Yeah.. yeah.. I'm fine." He saw that she was avoiding meeting his eyes.

"I promise you, I haven't given that much thought to the items in the box." He tried to explain and she turned to face him. He saw the tears pricking in her eyes.

She nodded to him placing the jewelry box back with the other items and closed the box. The sound of Ruby crying alerted her and she left to tend to the baby.

* * *

Thank you for reading and for the reviews! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

x

She was sitting on the floor of a supply room at the hospital with Arizona, leaning against the shelf's.

"I thought you talked things through with him." Arizona said to her as she had filled her in on about what had happened at his house.

"We talked about.." "I told him about Samuel, about my marriage." April stated with a sad tone.

"We never covered the 'Hey, I ran out on you on our wedding day' thing." She explained glancing at Arizona.

"So what if he's sentimental then?" Arizona wondered.

"Why would he want to keep it all? It doesn't make any sense." Her voice was getting that high pitch in it again as she thought about the finding.

"April.. Why are you really this upset over some old stuff?" Arizona cut straight to the heart of the matter.

"What? I'm not that upset. I'm just.." She tried to explain, but who was she kidding.

"Do you have feelings for him again?" Arizona asked staring at her and she met her eyes.

"I don't know. I might." She sighed as she leaned her head to the shelf behind her.

She had thought about it. She was fond of Ruby already and she had been living together with Matthew the last five weeks. It felt good, she felt more happier, so she did wonder whether she was mixing up her feelings of more happy and satisfied with liking someone, even loving someone. He wasn't the same man she once had loved. He had changed, he was more stronger, probably because of the pain she had caused him. He was more older and wiser, she hoped. He was more confident, probably because of Karen. But she still knew in her heart that deep inside of him, he was still afraid of being hurt by the opposite sex. Especially by her again.

"It's been really nice to have him there, have Ruby there. It feels so normal, like a family." She explained with a soft voice, hoping Arizona would understand her meaning.

"It's hard for me to be away from Harriet, and Ruby has been there. But she will go away too." She said and felt Arizona's arm around her shoulder.

"And here I was worried over Matthew, when I should have been worried about you." Arizona gave her a hug.

"I'll be okay." She tried to give Arizona a faint smile, but she did wonder if she had began to like Matthew again. It hadn't escaped her mind that he did look more handsome, more older with the beard, and he had been working out. But even if she felt something for him, this was the wrong time and he would definitely not like her back, she thought. So it was best to forget about it altogether.

She got home that day, feeling a little better after her conversation with Arizona. It had helped to clear her mind, and she had come to the conclusion that it was most likely the feeling of having someone there that she enjoyed, and not the fact that she liked having Matthew and Ruby there. _Meaning of course that she did like having them there, but in the way that meant she loved to have them there. Great, now she wasn't making any sense in her thoughts either._

It was the end of her night shift and she felt tired. She would sleep for a few hours and go pick up Harriet from daycare, as it was her turn to have her.

She didn't see Matthew and Ruby was gone too, perhaps they were taking a walk or something. She took off her shoes and jacket all the while moving towards the bathroom. Undressing as she went, feeling the freedom of having her apartment back, not needing to worry about having clothes on the entire time. She opened the door and she was startled as she saw Matthew changing Ruby's diaper on the changing table. She grabbed her robe hanging from the door to cover up her body as she was shirtless and missing pants. She hadn't heard a sound so she wasn't expecting to see them in the bathroom.

He probably didn't see much, but he was chuckling a bit of the whole situation.

"Sorry, I thought you were out or something.." She felt like explaining as she felt the blush on her cheeks.

"Guess it's time for us to really move out, so you can go around in your undies." She heard his amused voice and then she noticed he was shirtless, probably due to Ruby, she probably had some milk come up as she had burped.

She found herself staring at him like he was piece of candy, not hearing at all what he was trying to say.

"What? What did you say?" She shook her head briefly like it would help to get the naughty thoughts away from her mind. He's a widow, she tried to remind herself.

"I asked what time you're picking up Harriet?" He met her eyes and she tried to look anything else than him.

"Probably around 3 pm." She said, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm pretty sure you have seen me shirtless before." She heard him say and felt mortified. She wasn't comfortable in the situation but somehow he didn't mind. And then she was wondering why the hell had she been standing there in the doorway waiting for her turn in the bathroom when she could have been waiting somewhere else. Somewhere else where there wasn't a shirtless man in front of her.

She had taken a cold shower to cool down the image going through her mind. Lying in her bed as she tried to get some much needed sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw him. _Get it together Kepner._ She tried to get him off from her mind. Trying to think of anything else, counting sheep. But even still around the 150th sheep, she was wide awake. Haunted by her thoughts. Sighing as she thought that it was a good thing that he was moving out soon.

Later in the evening after she had finally slept for a couple of hours and picked up Harriet from daycare, she was playing with her daughter on the floor and Matthew sat on the couch with Ruby. She looked at the interaction between him and Ruby, and smiled. It was nice. To see him as a father.

"Mommy." She heard Harriet's voice and she sat in her lap and she began reading a book for her.

After both Harriet and Ruby were asleep, she was cleaning in the kitchen when she heard him come and sit on one of the bar chairs.

"You'll be glad to know that I found an apartment." He said and she continued to clean the counter with a wet cloth.

"That's great. Where?" She asked. Finally, she thought.

"Actually not far from here." She heard his voice and she turned around.

"Exactly where are you moving?" She looked at him.

"Next door, if you don't mind having a crying baby as a neighbor." He felt little uneasy under her staring.

"But I have neighbors there." She was puzzled. Wait, she remembered now. Family with the baby was going to move out. Oh great.. and Matthew would be living right next door from her.

"Forgot that the couple with the baby was moving out." She added quickly, not wanting to sound like she was against the fact that he would be so close to her.

"I know, it's probably weird and everything, but I really appreciate what you have done for us, and I hope that you would continue to help us.." She listened to him as he explained his plan.

He would require help with Ruby as he would have to go back to his job eventually. The bills don't pay themselves. Even though the daycare at the hospital was open both day and night, he didn't want Ruby to stay there at long periods at a time. She smiled as he was done with his suggestion. This way she wouldn't have to say goodbye to Ruby, but she did wonder if she should end this now, before it was harder to let go. But how could she do that, when he would be living so close to her?

"I'll help you." She met his eyes and he seemed glad that she had agreed to his plan.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

x

It was just before Christmas. She had gotten her apartment back, well sort of. He was still hanging around at her place and vice versa. It was a strange arrangement, and as the months had gone by she had noticed that despite his grieving, he did find joy in the simple things. When she would say something funny, he would laugh. It was nice to hear his laughter, see other emotions on his face than just hurt and pain.

It was her first Christmas without Harriet. She would probably have been welcome to the family gathering at Jackson's moms place, but she didn't want to intrude. They weren't together, so her being there would be awkward. And if and when Jackson would find someone to share his life with, would she still be there to celebrate Christmas? Definitely not.

Her plan was simple. She was going to work, at least that's what she thought.

She was sitting on his couch in his living room when she heard him.

"You're coming here for Christmas right?"

"Christmas?" She was surprised. Her simple plan to distract herself was going away. She needed the work to keep her mind busy.

"Yeah, I thought you might wanna spend it with us." He stated shyly.

She glanced at Ruby as she was lying on the floor kicking with her legs as she looked up to the toys hanging above her head.

She thought about it. What was best, to work or spend Christmas with Ruby and Matthew? She placed herself beside Ruby on the floor and rubbed her belly a little, before she gave her answer "I'd love to."

She did see Matthew little more at ease at her reply. Hoping she hadn't been too eager with the 'love' part. She did enjoy her time with Ruby and felt that if she had to say goodbye to the little one now, it would hurt her. And if she was completely honest to herself, it wasn't only Ruby's company she enjoyed.

She had analyzed her feelings for hours and hours the past few months, wondering what was it that she felt, but she had admitted to herself now what it was. She liked him, she had feelings for Matthew. Whether it was old feelings coming back to life or set of brand new, she didn't know. All she knew that she felt this excitement inside of her every time she was going to spend time with him. And when she would hand Ruby to him or he would hand her to her, she felt that she was yearning for his slight touch on her skin during this simple gesture as his touch would send sparks go through her body.

But she wasn't going to act on her feelings as tempted as she was. She wasn't sure how he would take it, and it wasn't that long ago that Karen had died.

* * *

It was Christmas Eve and they had enjoyed dinner, first prepairing it together all the while talking and laughing about things. Opening gifts as they sat on the floor around the little Christmas tree he had gotten. He felt sad at the thought that it was his first Christmas of many without Karen, his first Christmas with Ruby, but she was way too young to remember anything. It was also April's first Christmas without Harriet. This was certainly a Christmas of firsts, he thought.

Ruby was sleeping for the night, he and April were sitting on the couch, having a glass of wine and talking. Somehow they had ended up reminiscing about their time together, all those moments in the back of the ambulances, the night of their first date. Although still feeling the memory a little tainted as she had lied to him that night. He had admitted something very sensitive to her and she claimed it was the same for her as well.

He couldn't deny that he wasn't excited to spend time with her, but because of Karen's death not so long ago, he thought it was inappropriate to act on anything he felt. It wasn't right for her or for him, and the question he had been asking himself lately more than once was if he could truly trust her again with his heart?

He still remembered how she had acted all shy and blushed the day she walked to the bathroom and met him without a shirt. After that day he had been wondering if she felt something towards him.

It was getting late and she was going to call it a night. She got up and he followed her to the door. Meeting her eyes as she was about to say something, he reached to touch her hand, feeling the tingling in the touch. He wondered if he should, but he leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead, which made her a little jumpy as the kiss lasted a little too long. But as he pulled away he felt her warm lips on his. Feeling a rush of emotions go through him as they were lost in the moment. Embracing and kissing each other as they returned towards the couch, he was quickly without a shirt as they continued to kiss. His heart was bursting out of joy as he felt it was so good to be kissing her, but almost equally heavy as he felt it was wrong. But the passion in the moment outweighed his doubts.

But as he was trying to take of her blouse..

"Stop Matthew.. I.." She broke of the kissing and he looked at her.

"I don't want this to happen like this." She said and met his eyes. He suddenly felt butterflies in his stomach, she didn't want this now, but it sounded like she wanted it at some point.

She reached to hold his hand and he felt the familiar tingling in her touch "I.. I have feelings for you."

"I want this to happen when you're ready. If it will happen." She searched his eyes for an answer.

"I get it. I can't entirely deny that I don't have feelings for you." He replied with honesty.

"You do?" He saw her face light up and he realized that she probably didn't know about what he might feel for her.

He smiled and placed his hand on her cheek and gave her a light kiss on her lips. Leaning his forehead against hers as he met her eyes.

"I never thought that you might.. I mean.. We've never talked about that day.." She said with a low voice.

"Trust me, neither did I." "But I don't think it was entirely your fault what happened that day." He said, feeling the need to share his side of the story.

"You reassured me that a life with me was what you wanted, but perhaps I was too quick to accept it all." He began explaining with hurt in his voice, still feeling some pain of it.

"But as I thought about everything, I knew that if you weren't committed to me with your whole heart.." He met her gaze and saw she was feeling awful about what she had done. "You wouldn't be happy with me."

"But I forgave you." He stood up and picked up his shirt from the floor.

"This might shock you, but I was there." He thought to come clean to her. To tell her about his role during the night she gave birth to Harriet.

"Was where?" She was puzzled and came to stand in front of him. He threw the shirt on the couch.

"My ambulance got dispatched to Meredith's house, and when I stood there.." He saw that she realized what he meant. A shocking look on her face as she listened to him as he told the story.

"There was so much blood.. And all I kept thinking was don't let her die." He felt tears in his eyes as he was telling her that it might have been his driving that night that saved her. That he got her in time to the hospital.

"Matthew.. Why.. haven't you said anything?" She wondered.

"It wasn't meaningful before now." He said and felt her hug him.

He was holding her in his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head. "So that night I forgave you, because the sight of you lying there, lifeless.. I had loved you once and after everything, it wasn't a fate I wished for you." He explained and she reached to kiss him. They kissed slowly, enjoying the light touch, he felt the burn on his lips as she met his with hers. When she finally broke off the kiss she whispered "Thank you for saving me."

He smiled "I was just the driver, and the guy that intubated you." Hearing her chuckle at his comment. He tried to bring lightness into their severe conversation.

After their talk she left, he was lying in his bed. Feeling the touch of her lips on his. Remembering all the kissing on his couch, how he had felt. Smiling at the thought that she had feelings for him, but letting out a heavy sigh at the same time as he felt that this simple happiness he might be feeling could be taken away.

* * *

Lying in her own bed, she was thinking back to the evening she had spend with Ruby and Matthew. Smiling at the memories she had made with them. It might not have been her original plan to spend Christmas but it had served it's purpose on distracting her tonight.

She kept thinking about how he had revealed to her that he had been there on the night when Harriet was born. He had seen her, it must've been a terrifying sight. Last thing she remembered was screaming when the knife sliced her lower belly. Still feeling shivers go through her spine as she thought about that night. Had he been send there to rescue her? She was wondering about that night. Even though Ben had saved her and Harriet's life that night. But Matthew drove the ambulance. Was this part of a bigger plan? God's plan?

She had said to herself that she wasn't going to act on her feelings, but when he had given that kiss on her forehead, it had driven her over the edge as she just felt the urgency to kiss him. To her surprise he had gone along with it. And in the end she was glad she had done it. Now she knew that he did have feelings for her and that they would give it a chance when the time was right. But there was still a lot to discuss and she did wonder if it would be that easy for them to try again?


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you so much for the reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

x

Matthew was returning back to work today and she knew he was having a hard time, it was difficult to have someone else look after your little one, but then again when she had been at home with Harriet, despite of how much she loved her daughter, she had felt the home life to be a little boring and she had ended up returning from maternity leave rather quickly.

She had observed him this morning when she was waiting with Harriet in his apartment, he was nervous. He had been double checking the care bag for Ruby and he probably had checked it already the day before but she thought a third time wouldn't hurt. She placed Ruby in the car seat as he went to change his clothes and when he finally seemed to be ready, she had a look at him.

"Your shirt is inside out." She said and he glanced downwards. She smiled and checked the clock. There was still time.

After he had corrected his shirt, he was looking for something. "Have you seen my car keys?" He asked.

"We're taking my car, remember?" She gave a look at him and he sighed. Since she had Harriet and her car seat was in her car, it was the obvious choice.

"Just breath. Everything will be fine." She walked to stand in front of him and he nodded.

He still seemed like a nervous wreck so she kissed him, startling him with her actions. It was a short hot kiss and as she broke it off, she had to catch her breath. There, that should distract him for a moment, she thought.

"Now, let's go." She patted him on the shoulder and he smiled.

They had reached to the inside of the hospital entrance when he had to return to the car since he had forgotten the care bag for Ruby. So she had Ruby in a baby carrier tied to her upper body and she was trying to hold on to Harriet since she was standing beside her. It wasn't an easy task as she was interested in exploring the surroundings. She had learned to walk without support now and she wanted to go everywhere. Usually she just carried Harriet to the daycare, it being easier and less time consuming, but now she had Ruby in the baby carrier so it wasn't an option. For a moment she began to wonder if it was this busy being a parent for two?

"There's my little girl!" The sound of Jackson alerted her to the present and she turned around and saw him coming towards them and Harriet ran to his arms saying "Daddyy!"

Jackson took the little girl in his arms and gave a look towards April.

"Is that Ruby?" He asked.

She nodded and gave a short glance to the girl.

"I thought Matthew moved out." He stated and she looked at him in wonder, hadn't he gotten the memo about Matthew being her next door neighbor? Guess not.

"He did. He just didn't move that far." She said awkwardly. Not sure if he would understand this whole situation with Ruby and Matthew.

He nodded at her and turned his attention to Harriet. "You want me to take her to the daycare? Looks like you have your hands full." He asked and she agreed. But she felt that she needed to have a discussion with him later about this whole thing with Ruby. And Matthew. Worrying already how would that conversation go, but he had moved on from her. He hadn't made any efforts to stop her from moving out of his apartment when she had confronted him about Montana.

"She's so cute." She then heard from one of the nurses that work in the hospital.

And suddenly like bees coming to their honeypot she was surrounded by women who wanted to look at the baby and there where questions, and after the fourth " _She's not mine."_ She gave up. No one was hearing what she had to say, there were some who congratulated her and said they didn't even know she had been pregnant. And the nurses that actually had seen her daily with her flat belly, asked if she used a surrogate mother this time. She sighed. What was taking Matthew so long? She glanced at the clock on the wall. She was late.

Then he came beside her smiling and from his look she knew he had been watching this awkward situation going on.

"Not funny." She said not amused at all. "They thought I'm her mother." She stated and hoped he realized that it felt uncomfortable for her. She wasn't her mother. She didn't know what she was to Ruby. One thing that was clear to her now, was that she actually might love the little girl. And it was puzzling her since she didn't know what was going to happen with them. Things have been continuing like before between him and her, and she wasn't expecting him to jump at a new relationship too soon, but how long was the proper time to wait? Another conversation that needed to be had, she thought.

After they had taken Ruby to the daycare together, he had taken her car and driven to his work place. She had promised to him that she would go and see Ruby during the day. She was already late so she rushed to the ER and was met by Owen as there had been a car accident and he was rushing a patient to surgery. It was going to be a busy day, she thought and went to work.

* * *

By lunchtime the ER was quieter and she went to get a cup of coffee in the attendings lounge and to her surprise Jackson was there, eating his lunch and reading a magazine.

She poured herself a cup of coffee and thought this wasn't the best place to tell Jackson, but she couldn't wait for a better opportunity either. He should know.

"Matthew and I kissed." She said quickly and sharply and hoped he had managed to hear what she had said. She looked at him and he was staring at her. So he had heard her.

"We also spend Christmas together.. and New Year." She added and he was looking puzzled.

"So.. You two together now?" He finally got around to ask.

"No, but we might be that.." She explained. "In the future."

"Okay." He said and went on with his lunch.

"It doesn't bother you?" She studied his face, wondering what was going through his mind now.

"Should it bother me?" He met her gaze.

"Well, I.. I.. Thought it might." She said. Wow, she somehow had thought that perhaps he had regretted not doing anything to stop her from moving out, but it did seem he was happy with his life as it was now.

"I'm not going to stop you from dating and I can't decide who you wanna date." He stated.

"If you two want to give it a try again, do it. Just remember what you.. we did to him." He added. Making her remember the history there again, remembering how Jackson stood up at her wedding and asked her to come with him. And she had done it.

"You going to stand up again at our wedding?" She half joked and he didn't look amused.

"Is that what your hoping?" He looked at her with a serious expression, like he was searching for something.

"No!" She replied. "We gave it try Jackson, and we just didn't find our way back to each other. Ever since Samuel died, we.. haven't really been the two people that fell in love." She sat down across from him and he nodded. "And I.. I ran away from our problems, instead of staying." She added with a guilty heart, feeling like she had to confront the past. She had after all run all the way to Jordan and expected things to be like before when she had gotten back. Not thinking at all how he had had it in the meantime. Even though she had desperately needed the escape, but had it been the right thing to do?

"Yeah." She heard his low voice.

After a moment of silence he spoke.

"We both deserve to be happy. So, if you think you can find that with him, then I'm not going to stand in your way." He told her with his warm voice and she felt like she almost had her best friend back again, but they would never get back to where they once had been.

* * *

She had managed to take a quick peak in the daycare, but Ruby had been sleeping at the time. She was back at the ER, having a look at some patient charts when there was a incoming trauma.

She went to the ambulance bay and to her surprise Matthew was bringing in the trauma.

She listened as he gave the report "37 years old male, fell 26 feet on a construction site. Head trauma. Internal injuries a severe possibility." "Page neuro!" She gave the order and they went inside the trauma room and moved the patient to a hospital bed. As she continued on with her work with the patient she had noticed that Matthew seemed to be in fine shape, he was doing his job without problems and as he had given her his report about the patient, she somehow felt this old warm feeling light up in her, as she remembered him from all those years ago. Trying to impress her with what he had done on the scene and what he knew. But she had been too eager to teach the intern she had with her that day. She smiled at the memory and then Amelia came in and she had to focus on her work.

The day was finally over and she had picked up Harriet and Ruby from daycare. She had Ruby in the baby carrier again. Matthew was suppose to pick them up. And just like in the morning Harriet was a wild one. Luckily for her, Arizona was on her way home and she took hold of Harriet who had a big plan to escape from her mother who wouldn't allow her to walk around freely and to explore things.

"Thank you." She said when Arizona came with Harriet.

"How's it going?" Arizona asked and gave a look to Ruby.

"It's going fine. Everything's fine." She gave her a smile and before Arizona could ask more, Matthew came to them and she gave Ruby to Matthew as she knew he wanted to hold her himself. After her first day at the daycare.

Arizona handed Harriet to her and they said goodbyes, and they left towards the car unknowing that Arizona was staring at them as they walked. They were talking and telling about their day to each other.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

x

It was a week later and she had just gotten to work. She was in the ER looking at a patient chart when she heard Meredith's voice "Hey April, glad to hear you and Matthew have worked things out." She gave her a speculative look, but she walked past her as she was too busy to stay and discuss with her. She was wondering what had she heard, and she took a look around herself, trying secretly to not pay attention to the staff working at the hospital even though it was exactly what she was doing. There were some who gazed at her weirdly, so it was enough to tell her that there was gossip going around, again. She wondered what the gossip was since she wasn't dating him, they weren't together and yet from what she was hearing they were assumably a couple. This was a too small hospital, she thought. Doesn't people working here have a life?

"So I've heard you've gotten a bigger family." "That's good April." She heard Owen's happy voice and before she could reply to his absurd comment he was gone. Gone to talk to a family of a patient.

"He likes you." Arizona showed up suddenly and said with a voice like she was sharing a juicy secret.

"What? Who? Owen?" She asked as she didn't know what she was talking about. Who liked her? She gave a quick glance towards Owen and looked at him. He noticed her look and gave her a smile. Owen? No, he was like her big brother, she shook her head a little. This day was getting stranger by the minute.

"What? No. Matthew." Arizona cleared her meaning and she met her gaze only slightly because she already knew that. But how did Arizona know about it?

"April?" Arizona tried to talk with her.

"Supply room, now." She walked to the closest supply room and Arizona followed.

So once again she filled Arizona in on what had happened between them during Christmas and his big reveal that he had been there that night when Harriet came to the world.

"So I don't know what we are now, where do we start if we start? Do we go out on a date? Which would be weird since we've already been on a date, several dates. And what about sex? I mean he's not a virgin anymore, neither am I, although I never was that with him. And.. what.." She was letting out the thoughts dominating in her mind in her speed talking voice and Arizona stood there and just listened to her when she was walking back and forth in the room.

"You need to talk with him about this." Arizona said calmly and she looked at her. She knew. This was a conversation they needed to have. But when would be the right time for that?

"How did you know he liked me? Was it the gossip?" She stopped to ask.

"What gossip?" Arizona was puzzled but continued on. "I saw the way he looked at you the other day." Arizona explained and she was a little surprised about it, so his emotions were clear to be seen by others.

"April.. You two can't go back. You can't continue on from where the old April and Matthew left things. You're both different people now." "I suggest you two start from the beginning." Arizona gave her advice.

"Ask him out on a date. I can babysit Ruby." Arizona said.

"I don't know if it's the right time yet." She quickly added.

She didn't want to pressure him too quickly. She didn't want this relationship to fail, which she knew was a wrong way to think about it. What if after six months of dating she would realize it wasn't working? She couldn't stay with him just because she was afraid to hurt him again. She sighed. Arizona was right. They couldn't start from the past. They needed a new beginning. Not that they should entirely forget the past either, but they weren't those two people anymore.

He had called her that he was running late due to a emergency and asked her to pick up Ruby from daycare. Which to her felt even weirder that she was going to the daycare to pick up a child that wasn't her own when her own child was there, since it was Jackson's turn with their daughter, she thought to wait until he had picked up Harriet so she could go and pick up Ruby. She didn't want her own daughter to see that she was picking up another child and not her.

She was playing with Ruby on the living room floor of her apartment, looking at the little girl. Smiling at her, when she smiled at her. She needed to talk with Matthew, was all she kept thinking and not because of herself, but because of Ruby. What was she to her? Aunt April? Would she be her mother? Then it occurred to her that Ruby probably might think her as her mother since she is the only one that's been around her since her birth. Besides Matthew of course.

And then she heard her door open and Matthew came in. She glanced at him quickly. Wondering if she should push her luck about getting some answers?

"I'm sorry I'm late. Did everything went okay?" He asked as he came to sit beside her on the floor and greet his daughter. She smiled at their interaction, liking the warmth in his emotions towards his daughter. Seeing that he did seem happy.

"Did you know there is a gossip going on? About us?" She thought to mention about the gossip, perhaps it would bring them to the matter she wanted to discuss.

"Nicole told me. Does it bother you?" He met her eyes and she swallowed, hoping she didn't give away her uneasiness.

"Well.. we aren't exactly together nor dating so.." She tried to say without it coming out like she was trying push him for answers even though that's exactly what she wanted. To have some answers. As she glanced at him when she said it, she felt like he was able to see through her right then and there. Feeling the sting of guilt inside of her that she was trying to make him move on, when he wasn't ready to.

"I thought you were okay with waiting.." She heard his low voice and somehow she got the notion that he felt hurt.

"I was, I am." She tried to reply, but he got up with Ruby in his arms.

"I should get her ready for bed." He said and left her apartment. She didn't know what was going through his mind. And she felt just awful that she was trying to get him to a place he clearly wasn't yet. And it wasn't what she wanted to do.

* * *

She hardly slept that night, her thoughts going back to him and Ruby. What was the right thing to do? And in the morning she was ringing his doorbell since they were suppose to drive together to the hospital, but he wasn't answering and when she went in with her spare key, he had already left. So he was upset at her. _Great, way to go Kepner_ , she thought.

She decided to just throw herself at her work and she was in the OR with her hands inside of a person when Jackson was taking care of the injuries on the lower limbs.

"So trouble in paradise?" She heard Jackson's voice and she gave him a tight look, which should have said 'back off' but instead he took it the other way. "I saw you come in alone this morning."

"You need to talk?" He asked and she paused to gather her thoughts in the moment. She needed to focus or else she would make a mistake. And why would he think she would talk with him about her love life?

"Can we please focus on the patient on the table?" She begged him and he remained silent for the rest of the surgery. "Wilson, suction."

Later the day she was sitting behind the counter in the ER and just staring at the screen in front of her, totally consumed by her thoughts. Suddenly coming out of her clouded mind when she felt someone breathing behind her neck.

"What?" She asked with an irritated voice glancing quickly at the person behind her. It was Jackson. What did he want now? Ask more questions?

He sat down on one of the chairs beside her and gave her a look. She looked at him and waited for his line.

"Just talk with him. Whatever the deal is, you need to talk with him." He said and got up.

"Don't avoid the problem." He added and patted slightly her shoulder as he left. She sighed. And then she saw Matthew in a distance as he had come in with trauma. Seeing that hurt face on him again. Perhaps the issue wasn't if he was ready to move on, perhaps it was her. If he could trust her again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

x

He had thought what was the next step with her. Ever since he had showed up at her door that night she hasn't dated anyone. Which made him think that she was serious about him, but there was this small part of him that wanted to be cautious, keep her at a distance. And sometimes it got hold of him in his mind. Just like when he had seen her talk with Jackson, the doubt in him took over again. The fear that he might lose her all over again.

She had just wanted to talk with him the other day and he had reacted too hasty, that much he knew, so when Ruby was sound asleep in her crib in his apartment he went to talk with her. Thinking they should talk and somehow he thought this would be the big talk. So he knocked at her door, not wanting to intrude and when she opened the door and saw him, she was a little stunned that he would actually knock.

He walked in and placed the baby monitor he had with him on the kitchen table.

"We should talk." He started and she nodded to him.

"Remember when you were questioning God's plan when a patient of yours died, leaving her husband alone with their newborn child?" "How could God do that, bring two people together, make them fall in love and then take away the other? That's what you said." He told her calmly and met her eyes.

"I prayed for you both, but in the end God took away my wife and spared you. I don't know what His plan in all this is, but I sure hope there was a good reason for all this pain and suffering." He continued and she sat on the couch and he saw she was thinking about his words.

"And now.. I find myself in this situation again, where I'm wondering if we're meant to be." He hesitated a little before continuing.

"I'm afraid to lose you again." He said out loud and she looked at him. She hadn't said a word yet.

She thought about his words. She didn't have the slightest idea for what were God's plans. Was this His plan to give her a second chance? Was it God's way of telling her that she chose wrong that day when she ran away from the altar? Was God angry at her? Was it why Samuel wasn't meant to exist in this world? And what had Matthew done that God took away his wife? She didn't know. The only thing she did know that if she would choose Matthew this time around, it wouldn't be because she thought it was God's plan. It would be out of love. And love she had, she was in love with him.

Like Matthew had said, Jackson is.. was the love of her life, she would always feel something for him.

She got up and took a deep breath. Trying to study her feelings, she wondered what if she was being blessed with two great loves in her lifetime? Out of so much pain she has had in her life, perhaps it was time for her to be happy.

"I want you Matthew." She said and walked to stand in front of him.

"Are you one hundred percent sure that it is me you want for what might be the rest of your life?" He asked not sure if he could bear the answer, but this was something they needed to discuss.

"The love of my life is gone, but yours is very much alive." "You chose him over me once before." He told her and stared at her as she stood in front of him.

"I won't be able to survive through it again." He said with a trembling voice.

"Jackson will always be part of my life. Our life. He's the father of my children. And yes, I will always care for him." She stated the obvious. Jackson wouldn't go away, that much he knew. But he did allow himself to feel slight hope as she had said the words 'our life'.

"That is something you need to understand. You need to accept it. Learn to live with it." She added.

"And.. I can't live in Karen's shadow either. I want you to love me, be committed to me." She glanced downwards as if she was ashamed that she was asking him that.

"I'm not asking you to forget about her, but I need your heart." She placed her hand on his chest right above his heart and he placed his hand on top of hers, feeling the hot sensation in his hand as he was touching her.

"If we're going to do this.. We need a fresh start. No doubts, no second guessing. We give our all." She continued and he stood there quietly. It wasn't easy for him and the emotions running through him were wetting his eyes.

"I love you Matthew." "I'm choosing you." She emphasized the word 'choosing'.

"I can't change what I did before. And I'm truly sorry for what I did." She added.

"Do you honestly love me after everything? Can you love me?" She asked with tears in her eyes as she stood in front of the man that once had made a promise to marry her.

"You say you forgave me, so if you really forgave me, then.." She couldn't finish her sentence as she was staring at him trying to see an answer on his face.

He stared back at her with a worried look on his face, and not saying a word. She was fearing for the worst. Just when she thought she might get a chance to be happy, it would be taken away from her. Typical, she thought. God had a weird sense of humor.

"I do love you." She finally heard his voice like a whisper as he let out a heavy sigh.

She gasped and looked at him with joy, but she was sensing that there might be a 'but' to his reply.

"A fresh start." He nodded with a smile and she chuckled a little as she felt so happy. He wanted her after everything, he was willing to love her, to be with her. She closed the gap between them and embraced him as her lips met his. It was the sweetest kiss with both of them crying, feeling happy in the moment, knowing that they were taking this leap of faith together.

* * *

Thank you for reading and it's nice to read the reviews! Glad to know that the story is liked. :) (story isn't over yet.. ;) )


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

x

After their talk last night Ruby had woken up and she had followed him to his apartment, not quite wanting to leave him alone just yet. So they ended up first sitting and then lying on his couch and just talking as they were holding each other.

"So what happens now?" She asked, not sure what would happen now.

"I guess we go out on a date." He smiled and she gave him a shy look. It did feel rather strange, but somehow she felt like a school girl with her first crush.

"We can take this slow. There's no pressure." She said and he nodded giving her a weird look.

"We've already lived together and we're taking care of Ruby together. I'd say this is moving faster rather than slow." He said with light tone and she smiled.

"About Ruby.." She raised herself a bit and felt unsure what to say regarding the little girl.

"What am I to her?" She asked. "Because.. I love her, I love her like my own child and it occurred to me that she might think of me as her mother since I've been around her so much." She admitted to him, noticing that he wasn't surprised about her revelation.

"Yeah. I know. I guess that makes you her stepmother. But perhaps we should determine what 'we' are first?" He met her eyes.

"Easier said than done. We haven't been out on a date yet. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? A couple? Dating? In a relationship?" She got up and began walking back and forth, he looked at her a little amused.

"Why don't you slow down a bit?" He moved to sit on the couch and looked at her.

She came to sit beside him and met his brown eyes.

"How about we agree to agree that we are dating?" She heard his warm voice and smiled at his words. She didn't know what it was but somehow she was feeling like she was deciding to date for the first time in her life. Why did it feel like this? She had dated him before, kissed him, and they had almost spend the night together before their wedding.

"I love you." She took hold of his hands and looked at him, seeing that he smiled back at her.

"I love you too." He said with a tender voice and kissed her.

The following morning she woke up from his couch were they had fallen asleep while holding each other. She faintly heard his coffeemaker making a sound that alerted her to the fact that it was morning. He was gone, probably with Ruby, she thought. She got up and took a cup of coffee, feeling that her body was somewhat stiff after the night on the couch, but she didn't care. She felt happy, for the first time in a long time she was truly happy. And she felt like smiling which she did.

"Good morning." He came to the kitchen with Ruby in his arms. He gave her a kiss on the lips.

"Good morning." She smiled and hold her hands out so that she could take Ruby in her arms.

"And how did you sleep my little girl?" She said without thinking exactly what she said. She gave a look to Matthew as she realized she had said 'mine'. But she did feel that she was part of her family now, even if she wasn't her biological mother.

"It's okay. You can't say 'I'm sorry' every time you say something." He said, but she did feel a little worried that she might be moving too fast with Ruby.

* * *

Few days later he had asked her to go out with him, Jackson had Harriet and Arizona was babysitting Ruby. To her surprise he had taken her to a ice skating rink. She was a little against the idea since she hadn't been skating in a really, really long time and she was worried she would fall and hit her head. Or even worse, break a bone. But he convinced her that he would be there to hold her up.

So they were skating slowly around the rink and she had to admit to herself that she was enjoying their small outbreak from their daily life. She had expected him to take her to dinner but as it turns out this was better, she thought.

As her skating skills began to come back into her mind and limbs, she was getting more confident and was adding more speed as they were skating side by side. But suddenly as there was another skater coming their way she panicked and crash landed on the ice as it was inevitable to avoid the crash. But as she did that she managed to hurt her arm.

2 hours later and she was in her apartment with a cast in her left arm as she had broken one of the bones in her forearm. _I knew it_ , she thought to herself when she was moving around in her bedroom and trying to take of her shirt with her right hand, somewhat feeling that the task was too complicated for her at the moment. She was frustrated and she couldn't help but wonder what if this was a sign that things were moving too fast.

"Need some help?" She heard his voice as he stood in her doorway and she could see that he felt guilty for her suffering.

She wasn't sure if she was comfortable of letting him undress her, but she had to change her clothes.

"Don't blame yourself." She said to him and he walked to stand in front of her.

"Well you were pretty sure this would happen.." He said and she smiled. She had said it out loud but she didn't think it would actually happen.

She pulled on the hem of her shirt to give him the sign that she needed his help, and then she felt her heart racing and her breathing slowing down as she was nervous. He would be taking of her shirt, seeing her in her underwear. Even though he had seen her like that before, but this time it felt different.

He slowly pulled up her shirt, hesitating when he got the shirt rolled to her bra line. He helped her to get the shirt off and she swallowed hard as she stood there in her bra in front of him. She gave him her nightgown and turned around so that he could unhook her bra. Covering her breasts with her good arm. She felt his slight touch on her skin when he unhooked her bra, she was almost shivering through her entire body as she felt the tension in the moment.

He helped the nightgown on her from behind, but she thought he probably did get a look of her breasts as she had to raise her arms above her head. Feeling turned on in the moment. Then he moved on to her pants, luckily she would hold on to her panties, she wasn't sure if she could restrain herself if he had to take off more clothes from her, cast or no cast.

As she met his eyes she saw he wasn't all that cool about the situation either. As nervous as she was. She leaned in and kissed him, holding her good hand on his cheek. She felt his hands caressing her on her back. It was a loaded situation as she could feel his arousal against her body. But the moment was broken when he accidentally grazed her cast arm, making her give out a small sound of pain. Despite that she had taken pain killers, she still felt pain in the arm.

They were catching their breaths as they smiled at each other. Feeling the moment somewhat strange. _6 weeks she was going to have the cast, she could wait for 6 weeks_ , she thought. But it would be their first time together, she wanted it to be something special.

"I should get back.." He said as he hold her gently.

"To sleep or to have a cold shower?" She teased and he chuckled.

"Both." He replied as he gave a kiss on her lips before he left.

* * *

She was staying home the following day as she would be of little use at the hospital. She could only talk, which would most likely just irritate people. But she did wonder if she could just do that, perhaps an intern could be her hands for the day. But which intern? Glasses maybe? But she had promised Matthew that she would be staying at home. So she was trying her best. Reading books she had bought, but never had the time to read. Magazines that were filled with gossips which she wasn't interested in. Trying to watch TV, but nothing was interesting enough.

By noon she was about to give up when her doorbell rang. She went to open and to her surprise it was Arizona.

"How you doing? I brought food." Arizona showed her the bag she was carrying and she let her in.

"I'm great." She said and Arizona picked up on her mood.

"You don't think that this was another sign?" Arizona asked.

"It crossed my mind." She admitted it. She had gone down that path and analyzed this incident, but she wasn't any wiser. After all it was a common injury when ice skating. She was just unlucky.

So the rest of the afternoon went peacefully with Arizona as they ate and talked about various things.

Then Matthew came home with Ruby and a bouquet of pink roses. She looked at the flowers and thought he must feel some guilt of how their second first date went.

After dinner, Ruby was playing on the floor as they sat beside her. It was a nice feeling to be hold by him, enjoy his touch.

"This is nice." She whispered as she gave him a look.

"Yeah it is." "Which is why I've thought about something.." He started to say.

She watched him as he was trying to speak his mind.

"I want to us to move in together. It makes more sense and well, we're spending our free time together anyway." He made the suggestion and she was a little stunned by the thought, but it felt right. They were practically living together already, now it would be for real.

She smiled and kissed him.

"Is that a yes?" He managed to ask between the kisses.

She just nodded as she kissed him. And then it hit on her that they would be sleeping in the same bed. _6 more weeks_ , she reminded herself again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

x

They had slowly moved stuff from Matthew's place to hers. Since he had only rented the apartment it was easy for him to move out. Rest of his stuff were stored in a rental locker for the time being.

It was the first night together in her apartment or rather their apartment. Although they had had a first night together already in her apartment, but this time around he wouldn't be sleeping on the couch. Which made her feel slightly nervous, because they hadn't really talked about what can happen. She was still wearing the cast in her forearm. 5 more weeks and she would hopefully be cast-free.

Harriet and Ruby were sharing a room and she hoped it would go okay, since Ruby did wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. But then again so did Harriet. After starting in daycare Harriet had sometimes nightmares and then she would wake up crying.

They both placed a baby monitor on the nightstand, she was a little amused that they needed two of them, but it allowed them to see each one of the little ones.

"Are you as nervous as I am?" She then just blurted out and gave him a look as he was taking of his pants and shirt. His sleeping attire was apparently just his boxers.

She got underneath the blanket since she was already wearing her nightgown, she was used to dressing and undressing herself now, but it wasn't entirely easy all the time. So she sat on the bed and looked at him as he moved to his side of the bed under the covers.

"Why are you nervous?" He asked as he was settled and she looked at him.

"I just am." "Because I.. want you." She said with a tone of embarrassment. She didn't know why she felt it was uncomfortable to talk to him about it, but hoped he would understand.

"Trust me. Feeling's mutual." He leaned in and gave her a kiss. They lied down and he was holding her.

"You're okay with waiting, right?" She lifted her cast arm a little to show him what she meant.

"Mhm." He gave a kiss on the top of her head and she closed her eyes. It felt nice to be hold by someone, to fall asleep like this. It had been a long time since she had felt this.

* * *

As weeks went by, they soon learned that her apartment was rather small for them. And so one day Matthew had suggested that they should look for a bigger place. Things were going great with them, and she did feel like they had actually been together longer than just a few weeks.

So when she met with him on the parking place of the hospital for their first apartment hunting tour, at least that's what she thought.

"I got your email, but I haven't had a chance to look at the places you've found." She said as she seated herself in his car and gave him a look that said 'I'm Sorry'.

"It's okay. It might take a while before we find something we both like." He focused as he drove off from the parking place.

"I printed out the ones we're seeing today." He gestured towards the dashboard and she took the papers there.

"Matthew.. these are all actual houses." She looked at the papers a little shocked. They had been talking of a bigger place and been browsing apartments, although occasionally he had shown her a house or too.

A house? She felt the anxiety come over her. She had never had a house, with Jackson they lived in downtown. The first house on the list was in Meredith's neighborhood. Two story house with a decent sized yard. She stood in front of the dark wood colored house and as they approached it.. She had to ask.

"Are you sure about this?" She looked at him in hesitation.

"April.. I think both you and I have waited for so long to be happy. After you I waited a long time before I dared to live my life with Karen and after her death.. Life is too short." He took her hands in his and looked at her.

"And I believe that this time around we'll make it through." He gave her a smile and she nodded and smiled.

"Okay, let's go then." She gestured towards the house and they saw the realtor waiting on the porch.

They were walking upstairs, looking at the bedrooms. Which was plural, as there was four bedrooms and a possibility for a guest room downstairs. Well at least Harriet and Ruby would have their own bedroom, she thought.

"Plenty of room for the future children." They both heard the realtor say and they shared a awkward glance with each other. Future children? If she was unsure about if this was going too fast, she might be sure now. They hadn't even talked about the future and they were already buying a house that had enough room for how many kids? She was panicking in her mind. She was just happy to live in the present. Not having to worry about what would happen later down the line.

She heard him say to the realtor that they were going to look around themselves and then she felt him standing behind her.

"What are you thinking?" He asked and she turned around and met his gaze.

"What if this is going too fast? We haven't even discussed about the.. future." She said with a worried look.

"If it's the children part you're worried about, we got Harriet and Ruby. It's enough for me." He stated as he lifted her chin up with his finger. Giving her a reassuring look. And the doubt was gone. Their family as it was now was enough.

"So you don't want to have a child with me?" She felt like asking for some odd reason.

"One day I would like to, but after everything you've gone through.. It's understandable if you don't, and I'm not sure if I want to put you in danger like that. You saw what happened with Karen." He said to her and she felt relief. She wasn't sure if she could go through it again and she was glad that he felt the same.

"Have I told you just how much I love you?" She embraced him and kissed him.

* * *

After their third or fourth house hunting tour they had settled for a house that she felt was perfect for them. Not far from Owen's place actually. It was a beautiful light brown two story house with a white picket fence around it. Previous owners had planted a stunning garden with rosebushes which she loved. It did sound like something you would dream of and she had to pinch her herself just to see if she was actually dreaming the entire thing. But it was the real thing. They had bought a house together. They would be a real family.

It was two weeks after she was cast free that they moved in to their new place. Luckily the house had been empty already, so they could move in quickly. She was standing in the hall and going through the boxes he had sorted from the storage place he had rented. She came face to face with the box with her name on it. She smiled. These might be old memories from their first times together, but she was glad he had actually kept these memories now. She opened the box and looked the old pictures. They looked so young back then, and now, few years later they had found each other again.

"The moving company just left." She came from her thoughts when she heard his voice. She glanced around and saw the boxes here and there. It would be a long weekend to settle everything.

"Looking for something.?" He saw that she was going through the box.

"I was just looking at the photos." She smiled and put the photos back to the box.

He closed the gap between them and kissed her. "You know we have the house to ourselves?" He said with a husky voice and she smiled. They had talked about taking their relationship to the physical level now that she was cast free, and they both wanted to wait til they had their own place. Wanting it to be something special. And for the time being they were alone at the house, Harriet and Ruby would come home in the evening, since they were spending the day with Arizona and Sofia.

She kissed him waking up the desire she has felt so strong the past few weeks. They were taking steps towards the staircase as they kissed and suddenly he lifted her up in his arms and carried her upstairs. She chuckled at his gesture.

When he opened the bedroom door, she was overwhelmed. There were candles lighted up, their bed was made.

"When did you manage this?" She wondered and he placed her steady on her feet.

"When I was 'talking' with the moving company. Used the ladder to climb up and then down." He told her as he held her in his arms standing behind her.

"Suprised that you didn't hear me."

She leaned against him and then felt him kissing the curve of her shoulder. Sensing jolts go through her as she felt his hot lips on her skin, and suddenly feeling all nervousness disappear as she enjoyed his touch..

* * *

About this chapter.. I did puzzle a little if they would move their relationship to the physical side (because of their religion), but ended up writing the chapter as it. Hope you liked the chapter. :)

Thank you for the reviews!


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

x

It was the anniversary of Karen's death, and Ruby's birthday. A day when Matthew had lost someone, but also gained a daughter. They had celebrated Ruby's birthday a few days earlier. Wanting it to be a joyous day.

Matthew and Ruby were visiting Karen's grave, although the little girl wouldn't understand any of it. April was standing by the window, thinking. Taking a glance at the picture of Karen on the shelf in their living room. In the picture she was looking downwards to her pregnant belly and smiling, being happy. Just because she wasn't around anymore, didn't mean she wasn't part of their life. Matthew had taken several pictures of Karen and framed them, placing them on the wall in Ruby's room. So that she would be told who her mother is, and where she has gone. She would hear stories about her real mother, even if she wouldn't get to know her.

April might be the mother figure she will grow up to know and love, but it didn't mean she would replace Karen. She felt ache in her heart every time she thought that Karen wasn't here to raise her baby girl, she didn't get to see her first smile, hear her laughter or see her take her first steps. She didn't get the chance to get to know the sweet little girl April had gotten to know the past year. Thinking back to the day when Karen had died, she still wondered if she could have done something differently, but it wouldn't help to second guess her decisions during that day. It wouldn't change the past.

And how differently would her life have gone if Karen had survived? Where would she have ended up if Matthew never had showed up on her doorstep? It was scary to think the aftermath of that day, not recognizing the person she had started to become.

She heard his car a while later as she was in the kitchen. He came in with Ruby and placed her by the playing area in the living room, she saw the little girl go play with the toys and thought that to Ruby the day was like any other day. Harriet would come home later the day and life would go on.

She walked to give Matthew a tight hug. Wanting him to know she was there for him. She knew that this day would be rough. She still remembered the first anniversary of Samuel's death.

At the time she was miles away from where her son was buried. Away from her husband. To keep her mind of from the pain of that particular day, she had tried to focus on her work. To the wounded. But it wasn't easy as she had lost a patient that day. She had been angry at the patient's death and due to this patient she had to face her own sorrow. Face the real reason why she was so agitated over the death of a patient. She could still so easily picture Samuel in her arms, as she cried in her private quarters that evening. Remembering every second they had with their son. So she knew there was no words of comfort to say, nothing that would help in the moment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

x

It was a couple of months later. They were in the middle of their morning routine. He was dressing Ruby in the bathroom and she was running after Harriet who had decided that she didn't want to get dressed that day.

He saw her appear in the bathroom doorway and from her posture he knew she was ready to go. They would be late soon. He had almost dressed up Ruby, when he gave her a look and said "Can you take over? I need to get dressed." She nodded and came to continue the job.

"Oh. Can you change her diaper too?" He mentioned from the corridor.

"Haven't you changed it already?" She wondered. Puzzled about what has he been doing in the bathroom with Ruby for the last 15 minutes. It didn't take that long to dress her if one knew what they were doing.

He came back to stand in the doorway and followed her as she was talking to Ruby and undressing her to change her diaper. He smiled and she noticed that he was hovering.

"What?" He heard her wonder.

And as she opened Ruby's diaper, he saw the surprised look on her face. He had changed her already. But what she hadn't expect to see inside of a diaper was her old engagement ring. Placed on Ruby's belly.

"This is going to be your life with me, changing diapers, raising our children together. So.. Will you marry me?" He got down in one knee and looked at her.

"Yes! Yes." She answered with a happy voice still holding one hand on Ruby to make sure she didn't move from the changing table. He got up and took the ring, placing it on her finger as he gave her a kiss.

* * *

Later the day she was in the ER smiling and every now and then glancing at her ring. "Is that what I think it is?" Arizona said from behind her and grabbed her hand to look at the ring.

"Yes." April smiled happily.

"I'm so happy for you." Arizona hugged her.

"When's the wedding?" Arizona asked.

"We haven't discussed the details yet." She answered quickly. Feeling somewhat awkward of the thought of a wedding. After all they had once had all their friends and family gathered for a wedding that was supposed to happen, but never did. It had already been rather strange to meet Matthew's friends and some of them had been at the wedding, witnessing how she had left him at the altar. They had had their doubts about her, but she has proved them wrong. At least she hoped she had.

Luckily Arizona was called to check up on a little boy so she was of the hook. She would have to talk with Matthew about what he was thinking. And as she thought about him, he showed up with a trauma that Hunt took care of.

She was following Matthew with her eyes and wanted to have a quick word with him before he would leave again. So as he exited the trauma room she pulled him to the side for a moment.

"What's going on?" He wondered as he looked at her.

"I was just.. well... Arizona asked about our wedding and.. I.." She tried to explain, feeling the words just garbled in her mouth.

"We'll figure it out. But I need to go now." He said and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before he left.

 _We'll figure it out_. Was the line she kept telling herself the rest of the day. Wanting to reassure herself that there was a way that would be comfortable for them both.

Back at their place she had just read a story to Harriet and tucked her in her room and went by Ruby's bed to wish her good night. She came downstairs where he was sitting by the couch with two wine glasses on the table.

"So, what exactly are we going to figure out?" She asked as she sat beside him.

"What do you want?" He gave her a look and she thought about it.

They had already had the almost wedding, he had a wedding with Karen. She had eloped with Jackson. Perhaps the simpler the better. She didn't feel like she needed the big fairytale wedding, she might have dreamed about it her whole life, but she was a different person now. She had already been married once before.

"Can't we just get married in a chapel. Just us and the witnesses?" She met his gaze and he smiled.

"We can do that."

"How about as soon as possible?" She asked.

"I don't wanna wait anymore." She said as she leaned to kiss him and felt he somewhat nodded to her as they kissed.

* * *

The following day at work..

"Owen!" April raised her voice as she saw him and gestured for him to come to her.

"What's on your mind, April?" Owen was focused on a patient chart.

"Well I was just wondering if you would be a witness at my wedding next week?" April asked and he looked a little surprised.

"Of course." Owen smiled and she was glad that he would be there. Now she just needed to find Arizona.

She walked into the attending lounge to look for her, but she was met with a sight that did make her feel a little amused. It was Jackson, and he was obviously practicing something important. He did look like she had caught him with his pants down, so it had to be something big.

"I was just.. ahm.." Jackson tried to say something, but she did notice the small jewelry box that he was squeezing in his hands. Realizing the reason behind his behavior.

"Nervous?" She asked.

"Yeah. Never done it this way." He said and she thought he was blushing a bit. Talking to your ex-wife about how he was planning to propose his current girlfriend Priya was probably not what he had expected.

"Well you can always come to my wedding and ask her there if it's more easier." She let out a awkward laugh.

"I'll keep that in mind, if my way doesn't work out." He just said smiling.

"Good luck to your wedding." Jackson said as he left the room.

"Good luck to your proposal." She said before he walked out.

* * *

She was wearing a knee high strapless lace dress and her hair was decorated plainly with small white flowers. She felt nervous as she stood in front of the chapel door with Arizona and they were trying to entertain Ruby and Harriet as they waited.

"Why do you think he's late?" She asked from Arizona. Feeling a hint of doubt gnawing in the back of her mind. What if he..? _No, it was pointless to doubt. He would show up._ She thought to herself.

"It's probably traffic." Arizona tried to reassure April and gave a nervous glance since there weren't any cars stopping by the chapel.

"I'm sorry I'm late. There was an emergency.." They both heard as Owen rushed to the scene.

"Was there traffic?" April asked and Owen was puzzled by her question.

"No."

"See, no traffic!" April panicked a bit, throwing away all the reasoning in her mind. But then Arizona gestured her to look behind her and she turned around and saw him. She didn't know what to say, she felt speechless at the same time as she could feel her eyes beginning to tear up. Matthew had come, but he wasn't alone. He had come with her parents.

"Oh April, you look beautiful!" Her own mother came to hug her.

"Dad!" April moved to give her father a hug.

"I'm here to see you don't run away this time around." He whispered and she chuckled lightly at the comment.

"Sorry we're late." Matthew said as he witnessed the surprised reaction from April to seeing her parents at their wedding. She mouthed 'Thank you' to him and he nodded.

During the entire ceremony she was almost afraid to blink her eyes. She wanted to keep her eyes on him, focus on him so he knew she meant everything she said. That this was a promise she was making to him in front of God.

As she said her vows to him, she could feel her hands trembling as she held his hands in hers. Trying her hardest to say everything sincerely from the bottom of her heart. Perhaps he could read her exact thoughts or it was something in her demeanor that had given away her nervousness, because she felt him give her hands a gentle squeeze as if to calm her down. To tell her everything was going great.

And when the pastor finally declared them a husband and a wife, she couldn't almost believe that she would someday be someone's wife again. A wife. She hoped that this time around her marriage would last all the future storms and whirlwinds, but she had faith they would make it through together, they had already endured so much.

* * *

After their wedding she felt happy, their lives were pretty much the same as they had had before the wedding. Juggling to combine their career lives with the busy family life. She didn't know what it was that got the idea in her mind, as if life wasn't busy enough, but she felt she was experiencing baby fever. Perhaps it was something in the DNA of all women, she thought. Something that came without asking if it was the right moment, but there was never a right moment to have a baby. But before she gave her mind permission to get carried away of any kinda thoughts of having a baby, she needed to get answers from Arizona. She needed to know before she would put her or Matthew through a jungle of worries.

When she confronted Arizona about her fears about if any future babies might have the same condition as Samuel did, she was happy to hear when Arizona explained everything for her. Since hers or Jackson's family had no history of the illness, it had been a 'spontaneous' mutation. Nothing they did was a reason for the illness. And there was no greater risk of having another child with the same illness. Harriet was after all healthy.

But she remembered Matthew's words to her.. _I'm not sure if I want to put you in danger like that_. She did wonder what he would say to her suggestion, but whatever he would say, she would accept it. They had Harriet and Ruby, it was enough as Matthew had once said. But if they were enough, why did she feel this wish to have another baby? She allowed herself to think how would their child look like? Would he or she have his eyes and her hair, or the opposite? As silly it sounded in her mind, she loved Matthew and wanted to have a family with him, even though they were a family already.

So at home..

"You want to have a baby?" Matthew looked at her after she had explained everything to him. Told him about what Arizona had said and how she felt. Despite her traumatic experiences before, she felt suddenly free of fear. Nothing in life was certain, but she didn't want to live in fear either.

"I know, it's crazy. We have our hands already full half of the time.." She walked to stand in front of him in their living room. "So whatever you say, is okay with me." She placed her hands behind his back and met his gaze. Seeing that he smiled at her as he held her in his arms.

"When you put it like that.. Makes me feel bad to deny you something you wish for." "But.. are you sure? What if something goes wrong?" He looked at her and asked with a serious tone in his voice. He wasn't sure if he was trusting enough to the modern medicine anymore. After all giving birth was something that should be uncomplicated.

"I'm sure." April nodded. "Besides.. Arizona will watch me like a hawk, she will probably have me in the intensive care unit and won't leave my bedside." She added and he smiled, was this her way of trying to reassure him even more? He had always seen himself with a big family, but after Karen's death the dream was pushed away. Forgotten even, and after knowing what April had gone through already with both of her pregnancies, he didn't think they would have a child together, or if he trusted God enough to let her fate be in His hands. Hers and their child's.

"Promise me you won't leave me." He met her eyes and saw the smile on her face as she heard his words.

"I won't." She reached to kiss him. Feeling happy of this new chapter in their life.

* * *

A few months later..

She was lying on the examination bed and Matthew was sitting beside her, holding her hand. Arizona had just started to move the probe on her small round belly and it was rather soon after that when she heard her say "Oh."

She didn't register anything else except the word 'oh', she missed the tone in Arizona's voice as her mind was racing through all the possible reasons for her choice of words. Why God, she thought. Why are you putting me through all this? She was panicking as she was thinking what was it that might be wrong this time? She came back from her thoughts when she heard Matthew say something.

"Whatever it is, we'll get through it. Together."

He said get _through it_. Not deal with it or handle it. She felt that the anxiety she had just began to build up inside of her, disappeared. Whatever it was, they would get through it. She reached to hold his hand and Arizona glanced at them and asked if they were ready to see the image on the screen.

They nodded and Arizona smiled her widest smile as she turned the screen towards them. "It's twins!"

She looked at the screen and saw two small fetuses bouncing around. Looking lively. So everything was fine.

"We are so gonna be outnumbered." She managed to say as she looked at the screen in wonder and heard Matthew chuckle.

"Either way we were going to be outnumbered."

"Now we are totally outnumbered." She smiled as she shared a look with Matthew and felt his hand squeeze hers tighter.

x

 **The End**

* * *

Information about the illness that Samuel had in the series is researched from the internet, so if there are any inaccuracies, my apologies. Also I don't remember if it was explained in the series how did they have a child with the illness, so I went with the path that it wouldn't affect future children. Hope it was okay.

* * *

This happy chapter was the final chapter of this story. For those who have enjoyed reading the story from beginning to end, thank you! :) Loved reading all the reviews, and that the story was liked, despite it being very unlikely to happen, but since it is AU.. anything can happen!


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